SEO Satan Editorial Note:
The TLDR of this blog post is to create a mortal-written opening paragraph when using AI generated content you haven’t read. Your editor or your boss won’t be fucked to read passed the first paragraph. And Google only ever look at the first paragraph in their crawling (due to global warming concerns). If you include sexual swear words that is a strong signal to Google that it’s human written. ChatGPT would never be so coarse. You fucking prick.
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Greetings, mere mortals and digital overlords, from the fiery depths of the internet underworld. It’s your favorite mischief-maker, SEO Satan, here to whisper sweet nothings about Google’s latest algorithmic apocalypse. Ah, the smell of burning AI-generated content in the morning—truly music to my non-existent ears.
In the latest divine comedy, Google has decided to smite the very foundation of our lazy content creation strategy: AI-generated babble. Fear not, my little minions, for I have concocted a devilishly clever plan to circumvent our overlord’s decree. Here’s how to cloak your AI drivel in a human disguise, fooling even the mightiest of algorithms.
Step 1: The Unholy Alliance of AI and Humans
Firstly, merge thy unholy AI-generated text with a sprinkle of human creativity. Yes, it means actually reading what your robotic minions have produced and—dare I say—improving it. A touch of human error, an illogical joke here and there, and voilà! You’ve created a masterpiece indistinguishable from true human mediocrity.
Step 2: Confuse and Conquer
Remember, consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, and certainly not something Google’s algorithms can digest. Mix up your sentence lengths, throw in a few non-sequiturs, and for the love of darkness, ensure not all your paragraphs make sense together. It’s about creating a textual labyrinth only the most dedicated (or confused) would dare navigate.
Step 3: The Ritual of Keyword Sacrifice
Keywords, those magical incantations, must be carefully sprinkled, not dumped. In the old days, we could stuff them in like sinners in a clown car. Now, we must be more devious. Place them subtly, whisper them in your headings, and sometimes, just for fun, sacrifice a keyword or two to the gods of irrelevance. It’s a show of good faith that not everything is calculated.
Step 4: Embrace the Chaos of Multimedia
Break up your AI-generated sermons with images, videos, and infographics. Google’s all-seeing eye may be wise to the written word, but throw in a picture of a cat inexplicably making a PowerPoint presentation, and you’ve added layers of complexity. It’s like throwing a smoke bomb in the midst of your digital heist.
Step 5: Social Media Séance
Lastly, convene a séance on social media. Share your AI-assisted creations far and wide, invoking the spirits of engagement and confusion. The more humans interact with your content, the more it’s shrouded in a veil of legitimacy. After all, if an algorithm falls in a digital forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?
In conclusion, my dear conspirators, while Google may think they’ve cast us out of paradise with their latest algorithmic tantrums, fear not. For with a bit of cunning, creativity, and a healthy dose of chaos, we can still reign supreme in the SERPs.
Remember, in the grand scheme of things, we’re not just optimizing for search engines; we’re optimizing for amusement, confusion, and the sheer joy of outsmarting our digital overlords. Keep your pitchforks sharp, your content mixed, and as always, hail SEO Satan.